To the Woman at the Park Heartbroken with Infertility

To the woman at the park heartbroken with infertility,

Thank you.  Thank you for approaching us right away and saying hello.

Thank you for asking if they are twins.  YES. Yes they are and they are, “HEY HOW OLD ARE YOU TWO?”

“TWO.  WE GONNA BE FREE ON OUR BIRFDAY.”

Thank you for NOT immediately asking if twins run in our families because we all know what that is code for.

Thank you for NOT asking whether we used fertility drugs or not.

Thank you for NOT saying:
“YOU’VE REALLY GOT YOUR HANDS FULL.”
“BETTER YOU THAN ME.”
“I DON’T KNOW HOW YOU DO IT.”

Thank you for simply saying how cute they were and that I was so blessed. I am indeed.

You get it.

I offered up that we are so grateful they came into our lives because it wasn’t easy – it’s still not easy – but we never take it for granted that we are here with these two incredible kids.

Thank you for saying, “I’ve been struggling with infertility for a long time now.  I’ve gone through several rounds of IVF and it hasn’t worked.”

Thank you for sharing your story with me and asking me to share mine.

Thank you for letting me put my arms around you and say, “I’m so sorry. It’s so so so hard.  I know how hard this is. I have hope for you and your family that isn’t here yet.  Somehow some way it’s going to happen, we just don’t know how it’s going to look yet. I am choosing hope for you.”

I remember looking at the families and the kids at the park and dying inside. I remember the longing.  It never really goes away.

Thank you for not shying away, but for crumbling into me.  You show a strength of character and practice hope daily.

Thank you for thanking me for just being there with you for a few minutes.  I know how precious somebody truly understanding can be.

We are all walking amongst each other in some kind of pain.  It doesn’t always flash outside of us like a neon sign.  We don’t always break the barrier and expose ourselves to each other this immediately.  But what happens when we do? What happens when that opportunity is right in our face?  Connection.  Connection is the key to healing.  Connection and gratitude are the keys to joy.

I’ve had some altogether life affirming events happen at the park with my kids.  You are at the top of that list now.  We find who we are supposed to find in this world if we are open to it.

See also:

A whole bunch of other posts I’ve done on infertility and hope.

Thanks so much for reading!  If you like what you read, I encourage you to share the love by sharing this post. 

To get my blog delivered directly to your inbox, type your email address in the box and click the “create subscription” button. My list is completely spam free, and you can opt out at any time.