Whenever I see an article about twins, I read it because I think, HEY THAT IS ABOUT US! What I find though, is a lot of negativity and fear mongering. And that is NOT about us. Similar to the books that are out there about having twins, it seems people like to scare the crap out of expectant parents having not just one baby, but multiples in particular. I want to say, THERE IS NO REASON FOR THIS. Yes it is hard. Yes it is tiring. Yes it is frustrating. But what good thing worth having isn’t? Having twins is the best thing that’s ever happened to me and I wouldn’t trade it for one second. Granted, I don’t know any differently as these are my only children, but it’s the best! DO NOT BE AFRAID OF TWINS! What people don’t tell you very often is how absolutely kick ass it is to have twins. Stop feeding the fear. Stop reading the books that scare you. I’m here from the other side to tell you it’s incredible and not nearly as scary as “YOU’LL NEVER SLEEP AGAIN!” like all the books tell you. You will sleep again, and sleep quite well. I promise. It’s SO MUCH FUN having twins.
Here are just 10 reasons I’m grateful for twins:
- One and Done. I was 40 when I had my babies. I had one shot – through IVF – and we were extremely lucky to get pregnant with and carry to term two perfectly healthy babies. When we found out we were having TWO babies, we were terrified. And then we got so excited! And when we found out the little girl, baby b, might be in trouble and might not make it successfully through the pregnancy we were terrified again. So when she DID thrive and make it through we were doubly grateful and cannot imagine if that had not been the case. We are very very lucky. Multiples pregnancy is scary. I won’t lie to you. You worry and you worry, but then you get to a point where it’s almost time to have the babies and you get so freaking huge and you just glow and laugh and hope for the best. We had the best case scenario. We were not going to be able to do another round and I am OLD. We got our whole family from one pregnancy. ONE AND DONE. My husband and I battled infertility and yes, multiples are more common than ever due to IVF. Multiples are multiplying! Now, I have a big mouth and talk about our journey a lot but most people have some self control and don’t share every detail. It’s private. Please respect that. It’s still not OK to ask people if they went through IVF. Stop doing that. Unless they want to tell you otherwise, just assume that they had twins the old fashioned way, because in the end, that’s exactly what happens. We all have babies the same way whether you go through IVF or not. They all come out the same damn way – well at least from the same general vicinity.
- You’re doing this stuff for one baby anyway, you may as well do it for two. Think about it. You’re feeding one, you may as well feed two. You’re changing one, you may as well change two. You’re buying a jacket for one, you may as well get two, or better yet, when they are so little, they can just SHARE EVERYTHING. Once you get in a routine – and you WILL get into a routine – quite quickly because babies are pretty predictable in some ways, it gets much easier to handle. I don’t know what it would be like to just feed one baby, as when you feed one you feed the other. When you change one you change the other. When one sleeps the other one sleeps. Or at least most of the time, this is the case.
- Built in BFF. People told us this would happen. That once they reach a certain stage they would become obsessed with each other and want to stare and touch and crack each other up. It’s hard to believe at first that they have this connection, but as you watch it developing, you realize this is possibly the greatest gift that parents, caretakers and these babies could have. Let’s face it, babies are needy. GOD. They need attention. And sometimes you as the caretaker need a minute to not be entertaining them. As soon as ours started sitting up on their own, we noticed something. THEY ENTERTAIN EACH OTHER. It’s incredible to watch. At three years old now they are so kind and sweet to each other it’s quite miraculous. They are inseparable, so alike yet so different. Absolutely the most fun.
- You now have your built in audience you secretly wanted your whole life. Dance party? Great, get up and shake your booty and sing, these babies will love every second. Have some great jokes to tell? These babies don’t have a finely tuned sense of humor yet so they think EVERYTHING is funny. Let it rip. Get your confidence! Anything you want to read or perform for them will be great. This is what you’ve been waiting for your whole life. A built in captive audience. Squeals of laughter and delight await your every move!
- In tiny ways, they learn to be patient. When you have twins, there is always one who has to wait just a minute before they can be tended to. This is just a fact, you cannot deal with two babies at exactly the same time all the time. There is only one of you and two of them. So, from the moment they are born, there is a learning curve. They somehow know that no matter how hard they cry or need something, there may be a delay. They won’t like it and they WILL protest, but they learn this is the situation. And like you, they don’t know any differently.
- This is the best show on Earth. You think one baby is cute and funny? Try two. You will never stop being in awe of what is happening around you.
- You WILL get attention. It won’t always be the attention you want. And people say some silly and even hurtful stuff, but really, keep in mind they are just curious and most think it’s pretty awesome. Or that’s what I tell myself. I am so damn lucky and nothing anyone says will change that. What other people say is their business, not mine. I know where I stand and I’m grateful for every second.
- Other twin moms. We do belong to a club now whether we want to or not. Twin moms embrace each other. We are part of an elite club and granted we are multiplying (ha!), but we still are a relatively small group of folks who have battle scars and smile lines unlike any others. We get each other. We support each other. We KNOW THINGS that others do not. Twin moms find each other, whether it be online or at Target or at the park. We just gravitate toward each other and then it’s like we speak a language all our own. It’s a beautiful thing.
- Built in double excuse to get out of stuff you don’t want to do. You know all that stuff you don’t really want to do? Guess what? You have twins now. YOU DON’T HAVE TO.
- And finally, just turn on your volume and hit play!
This is only at almost 3 years (updated from when this was written at 8 months) in. Can you even imagine how much better this is going to get? So, stop being afraid. It serves no purpose. And for moms who scare other moms? SHAME ON YOU. I’m here to tell you it ain’t scary. In fact it’s pretty wonderful. Just hang on, ask for help, cry when you need to and then laugh. It’s going to be a wild and wonderful ride!
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