Hey Are You Depressed Like Me? Hallmark Holiday Movie Bingo Will Cheer You Right Up!

I am in a pumpkin pie pit of Hallmark Holiday movies. They are terrible. Yet I cry and cheer and soak it all in because right now we need all the cheer (manufactured though it may be) to get us through. ALL THE HALLMARK MOVIES ON MY DVR PLEASE.

I tend to watch when the kids nap and it’s the perfect little false imaginary dream sequence pick me up. Two hours of nobody’s reality in a cute little package. I loathe these movies. I told my girlfriend that I’d been listening to Christmas music and watching all these terrible Hallmark Holiday movies lately and she said, “BUT YOU HATE THAT SHIT”. It’s true. I do.

But right now comfort comes from peculiar places. Because we are not living in normal times. This is not normal.

If you’re like me, you look for the similarities in the formula of these movies, the inevitable conclusion, the journey through mix ups and shenanigans and know that in the end, love wins. In this world we are living in where that doesn’t seem to be the case, this is a way I escape for a short amount of time before diving back into our reality of combating hate and fear and trying to keep hope alive. I have an abundance of hope stored up in my account, I have enough hope for all of us, but I’m still low-grade depressed. And that’s ok. These things can co-exist. We are capable of feeling all the feelings.

These movies have civility and composure. A definitive beginning, middle, and end. You can count on these movies. There are no surprises in these movies. I mean, sorry Hallmark, but there really aren’t any major TWISTS that we can’t figure out what’s coming. But I appreciate your effort and I’m thrilled that I can count on these movies to just be what they are. Goodness and light, without going into religion directly. I appreciate that. They are easy. They are uplifting. They are escapism. They are a good antidote for the world right now.

I see you hallmark, adding a sprinkling of beautiful people of color to your movies. More more more! How about a leading role?

So what do you say, let’s play a little bingo shall we? Let’s dive into the Christmas porn. Let’s have some fun while we watch 8746 of these movies. WINNER GETS BED PIE! And with Hallmark Holiday movies, WE ALL WIN. Ugh. Yeah.