3-Year-Olds Are HILARIOUS

Just when I think they cannot get any cuter, they turn three.  And the only thing better than one 3-year-old is two 3-year-olds!  I try my best to keep up with jotting down the funny stuff they do and say and our reactions to it all, but it’s NON-STOP MADCAP MADNESS over here.  This will likely turn into a series as we are only 2 months into their third year and THEY ARE KILLING US DEAD.


I hereby give you some of the highlights (just the tip of the iceberg of hilarity) along with some goodies from us as well:

“When is Easter? Can we get chocolate eggs?  Is Easter after St. Crancis Day?”

“I don’t wike pasta.  I only wike pagetti wif brocorri.”

“Dis is my jam.” About any of her shows that come on.  And then she sings the sweetest softest versions of Sofia the First or Nina’s World you’ve ever heard in your life.

Me: “Don’t put your face in your sisters bottom!”

“They’re gonna throw me out the window for making a mess!” At the library having a snack.  Surprisingly, they didn’t throw her out the window.

“I want to stay wittle. I don’t want to get bigger.”

“Where are we, Mama?”
“We are driving to the library.”
“But where are we?”
“We are in Chicago, driving to the library.”
“But what library.”
“The new one, we haven’t been to it before.”
“But where are we?”
“We are in Chicago, driving to the library, the new one we haven’t been to before.”

“Is dis Michael Jackson?”

“Why did I drop my DIDA?”

“Maw. Do I have a brain? Why?”

“Maw. I’m so glad I’m funny.”

“Dada’s penis is so big!  I saw it at da grocery store.” *

As I walked downstairs in jeans and a blouse use they hadn’t seen before, he says “HOLY COW MAMA. WOW.” Then after naps I walked in and he says “you still have dat nice shirt on mama dats why I keep say holy cow”.

“Is dis Michael Jackson?”
“No, this is Hall & Oates.”
“You called us Hall & Oates when we were inside you tummy.”

After Nikki kiddingly said I GIVE UP one day, “You can’t give up. Mama says you keep trying.”

Chris: “Stay in bed and don’t lick your walls.”

“I signed you up for some park district classes.”

I went in their room I asked how they slept and he says, “Well I have good news and I have bad news……”
“What did you just say?”
He proceeded to tell me, “The bad news is Bebe woke me up.  The good news is I stayed in my bed.”

We are doing some separate outings so my girl and I had coffee and donuts and I asked her about what classes she would like, maybe gymnastics or soccer or basketball and she answered, “I WIKE CHEESE”.  That’s my girl!

Out at another new library (we are junkies), and he says, “where are we?”
I say, “It’s an adventure.”
He says, “Oh. I fought it was da wibrary.”.


Google maps lady helps us in the car a lot –
“Who’s dat mama?”
“She’s the map! She tells us how to get places we need to go when we don’t know the way.”

“Gah I don’t fink dragons wear slippers.”
“Bebe. BUT DEY DO IN DA MORNING. Only in da morning, Bebe.”

“His name is Diddy now.  He’s not Dida, he’s Diddy.”
“What is he gonna be P.Diddy next?”

After we play “solve my riddles” to straighten up their room, he says “YOU ARE SMART AND NICE MAMA”.

“Can I wear dese handsome shoes today?  PWEASE!!!  Everyone finks I’m so handsome in dese shoes.”
“You’re handsome all the time, Bub.  Doesn’t matter what you wear.”
“But I wook extra handsome in dese fancy shoes.”

“Can I go first? Danks Bebe. Dats kind of you.”
“You welcome Gah.”

She backs up in her room and takes a running leap into my arms each time we get dressed in the morning and every single time I play out the scene from Dirty Dancing.  I will do this until she’s bigger than me, if she lets me.  OH MY BACK.

“Why do cows say moo?”

“Why do we have hair?”

“Do you have bottom glasses?”


“Slow down motorcycle guy!  I know he will slow down now because I yelled at him to slow down.”

Anytime you ask her a question and she doesn’t know, it’s “I CAN’T KNOW.”  I actually like that better.

They know if I’m going to work or out somewhere by a glance at my face.  “Just Glasses!  No earrings!  No lipstick!  MAMA STAYING HOME!”

Paw Patrol. Really learning about not being picked, teamwork, appreciating individual talents and contributions. And not everybody gets picked every time.
“And here comes the best part, Ryder! I want to be wike Ryder when I get bigger.”


As much as three year olds can push our buttons and ask why after every single thing we say (their brains are incredible), this is the most fun.  And every single night, I go in and watch them sleep for a few minutes. No matter how catastrophic their behavior – or mine – that day, it falls away when I watch these sweet baby angels sleep.

There’s nobody I’d rather hang out with more than this 3-year-old comedy duo.  This is the most fun.


* I CAN ASSURE YOU NO PENISES WERE SPOTTED AT THE GROCERY STORE.  He was talking about getting dressed  before the store.


See Also:

10 Ways Toddlers are like Tiny Alcoholics

 How to use the public toilet with twin toddlers in 23 easy steps!

The Day they Started Talking Back

You might be living with toddlers if…

I DON’T WANT TO – A day in the life of a toddler

Our Teeny Tiny Twins are Three Years Old

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