Having Twins Made My Eyes Go in Two Directions. Literally.

I started joking before they were even born that this would happen.  All twin moms do.  Because you DO need to be looking in two directions at the same time.  While I thought this was simply a metaphor for twin care, it ACTUALLY happened to me.  Having twins made my eyes go in two directions.  Literally.*


I have twins and THEN my eyes do this bullshit?  Coincidence?  I DON’T THINK SO MISTER.

I keep thinking of that country song, “Tequila makes her clothes fall off” (TRUE) and singing, “Having twins made my eyes go wonky” (ALSO TRUE).

It’s subtle.  It’s nothing serious, I have regular eye checkups and my Opthamologist tells me I’m in good shape (“DOES THIS HAPPEN ALL THE TIME WITH TWIN MOMS?” Why is he laughing?) other than having terrible eyesight, which I’ve had my whole life.  There’s this thing called Strabismus and while it can be serious, mine is not.  At least not yet.  The muscles in my eyes aren’t as strong as they should be dammit.  And just when the rest of my muscles are ROCK HARD.  Ha!

The thing with twins is, well, they are a unit. They are a package deal when they are little.  In the very best way.  Mine are kind of a two headed monster as they just LOVE each other to pieces and want to be around each other ALL THE TIME.  However, when we are out somewhere, especially when I’m on my own, I have to keep my eyes on both at the same time whenever they decide to go explore on their own without their other half.  Which, you know, happens.  A lot.  They always wind up back together at the hip, usually with a “HI BEBE OH BEBE HI BEBE HI.” “HI GAH HI!” As the reunion after being apart for 5 seconds is too much for them to bear sometimes.  I die.

My two are much better at listening and holding hands these days, but twin parents and caretakers often get the question, “WHAT DO YOU DO WHEN THEY TAKE OFF IN SEPARATE DIRECTIONS?”  And my answer and action is, grab the closer one and run after the further one.  Or grab the one that’s more still at the moment and haul ass after the runner while yelling to anyone in your path, “WE’VE GOT A RUNNER!”  Also, the ability to split right down the middle is a required skill for a twin parent.

While this seems like it would be impossible, moms know that we can look in two directions at once.  That all our senses are heightened and can detect the slightest nuance of danger or mischief is a gift bestowed on parents and caretakers that you just cannot buy.

You spend any time with twin toddlers and you are running!  You are up and down and right and left and backwards and forward and sideways and well, out of breath.  And now my eyeballs match!

It’s no big wonder my eyes decided to go in two directions.  I swear this only happened when I had twins.  And you know what?  OF COURSE I AM GRATEFUL FOR THESE WONKY EYES.  Give me eyes that go in different directions yet still see with a heavy prescription and a back that hurts yet still can throw my kids in the air and carry them both up the stairs, give me wrinkles and sags and the little belly that never really goes away.  It’s all a small price to pay for the two hug monsters.

So hey, when you see me at the playground this Spring and I am split in two, perhaps you will give me the benefit of the doubt when WE TAKE A SELFIE together and let me get my good eye on.  Compassion y’all.  It extends to selfies too, you know.

And remember, I GOT EYES ON YOU.  Fine, I got eye on you.  And your sister too!


*None of this is scientific.  Being a twin mom is NOT cause for your eyeballs to go in separate directions.  I AM NOT A DOCTOR.

Hey, I write all kinds of good stuff about my twins.  Make sure you take a look at the rest of my blog as well!  Thanks so much.

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