If I see one more blog or “article” pitting women against each other, I WILL SCREAM. And yet, I will see a million more of them. So I may be doing a lot of screaming. Because it’s good “clickbait” and gets us all riled up. Except that I don’t click that nonsense anymore (I CERTAINLY DO NOT EVER LOOK AT THE COMMENTS), and you don’t need to either. That’s the only way it will go away.
The ridiculous, INSULTING TO WOMEN “Mommy Wars” and hell, “Women Wars” hurt all of us. Whether we participate or not. I’m insulted that I am put into a box because I breastfed my kids. I’m insulted I’m put into a box because I am a work-outside-the-home Mom. Hell, I’m insulted to be put in a box because I’m now a mom. I am still a woman. A vibrant, funny, smart, capable woman OUTSIDE OF HAVING KIDS and none of these things puts me into an easily defined box. I won’t buy into it. There are a million different ways to live our lives and raise our kids and we cannot buy into the idea that any of it is right or wrong or better or worse. It just is the way we choose it to be or that circumstance has chosen for us. And the beauty of it is, we do have choices about most things. And if we keep fighting for those choices, we will continue to have them.
HELL YEAH I AM A FEMINIST AND I BET YOU ARE TOO.
I had the pleasure of seeing Lena Dunham do a book reading recently, and in the question and answer portion, something about feminism came up. The point was really simple. If you believe that you, as a woman, deserve to be paid the same amount as a man for doing the same job, you are a Feminist. BOOM.
If you want the best and the most and every opportunity for ALL WOMEN – not just women like you – you realize you are a feminist.
These publications and bloggers that cater to pitting women against each other should be ashamed. GET ANGRY.
NONE of us are any one thing. We women are multi-faceted and deserve so much more. I am no better than you and you are no better than me. We are all women who have a lot going on in our minds, hearts and bodies. And we need each other.
I REFUSE to read garbage that insults you because you didn’t breastfeed. I REFUSE to read garbage about how a woman who freely acts upon her sexuality makes her any less of a strong, in control woman than those who are more subtle in their actions. I REFUSE to read garbage that mocks women who have disorders and mental illness and addiction issues or any kind of struggles to make the writer and their audience feel better about themselves. I REFUSE to read garbage about how being a Stay-at-home-mom is so much more challenging than a Work-outside-the-home mom is. I refuse to judge you on how you live your life just because it’s different than mine. I refuse to feed that fear. It’s all bullshit.
When we look for the similarities instead of the differences, we are so much more alike than we might think.
I choose not to partake in the Mommy Wars. I refuse to partake in insulting other women. I refuse to partake in doing anything less than encouraging and trying to support all of us.
I’ve said before, anyone can be mean and quick to judge. What takes real courage is saying, NOPE. I will not engage in anything but kindness and compassion. No matter how difficult or tempting it may be to make fun of others, I will not engage.
You may think me naive. You may think me pious. You may think me foolish. But you will not think me cruel or judgmental. Kindness and compassion rule the day. We are responsible for the life we cultivate. I want good karma. I want to get back goodness and kindness and the way I’ve found that works by simply being kind. I will be your cheerleader and you will be mine.
We all need good, strong, supportive women in our lives. Obviously, this applies to men too and you guys who are reading, I got you. I see you fighting for us. For your daughters. I SALUTE YOU BECAUSE YOU KNOW.
But we women. We need to fight FOR each other, not AGAINST each other. Two things at play here. Support instead of tearing down and fighting for what is right. Stop perpetuating the garbage. Stop pitting her against her. We get nowhere when we are fighting each other.
For my son and for my daughter. For all our kids learning to make this world equal and supportive in every way, we fight.
I’m fighting for you. Are you fighting for me?
See also – This is what happened when I learned to love my imperfect self.
Just a mom – on Feminism, Infertility and Hope
Some dude telling newscasters they shouldn’t wear hats on air in the dead of winter
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Too Sober For This 