Joy Suckers Suck

Chances are you know a joy sucker.  Or perhaps YOU are a joy sucker. They will take what seems to be great glee in crushing you.  In taking what is a happy moment for you, or a happy existence, and crushing it to the ground. The thing is, they can’t do that without your consent.  You have to give them permission to steal your joy.

I say NO.

I say deflect that bullshit.  Nobody has the right to take your joy and squash that because they are quite unhappy themselves.


I know about joy sucking because I used to do it.  I used to find people who were generally happy unbearable.  I would do my best to make snarky comments or warn them of the terrible future awaiting them with the “just wait untils…..”.  But then my entire outlook upon life changed.  Albeit over the course of several years and much introspection and hard work to overcome my darkness, my entire outlook and attitude toward life changed.

I developed this thing called compassion.  Getting sober and working the steps along with just going through the shit of life events has led me to this place of hey, I DO NOT KNOW EVERYTHING and maybe just maybe, I don’t know everything that every human has experienced.  YOU THINK?

It’s about trying to understand where another person is coming from and even if I can’t truly understand, to just grant them some grace and honor their journey.  It’s incredibly difficult to go about life on life’s terms without compassion.  People showed me compassion when I didn’t deserve it and the best I can do to repay that is to show compassion to others I meet now who are still joyless.  Still wandering.  Still searching and hopefully soon to find their place.

There are people I want to punch straight in the face.  Almost every day.  The difference today is that I don’t.  In my past I would figuratively punch people in the face with my comments and foul attitude. Today, I can pause and reel it back in and try to have compassion and meet them right where they are today.

Joy suckers are the worst.  They are miserable so they want you to be miserable as well.  It used to infuriate me to see people who were happy.  But I also wanted what they had on some level.

I sucked for a long time.  I sucked hard.  I hope I don’t ever have to feel that way again or that I try to drag people down to my level.  Or if I do, I hope people around me have their negativity shields on and can ward me off.  I want to bring joy to people’s lives and want people to bring joy to mine.  That’s all we really have time for in this life as it all goes by so quickly.

If you’re not feeling joy on some level, you gotta change something.  And I’m not talking about your physical surroundings necessarily, I’m talking about the work from the inside out.  It all comes from within.  There’s too much good stuff in life that you could miss.  And THAT would be the ultimate joy suck.  To suck your OWN joy.  WHOA.

Grab as much joy as you can, and don’t let the joy suckers drag you down.  As difficult as it is, fight them with kindness instead.


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