The best part of the Bedtime Stalling 101 Technique is that I CAN HEAR THEM PLOTTING ON THE MONITOR BEFORE THEY COME DOWN TO MY BEDROOM (where I am – within two minutes of their bedtime – fully set up in bed with snacks and Netflix roaring). So I have about 30 seconds each time to prep my serious face before they appear when I’m straight up cry laughing inside.
Here we go – and this is just from last night:
- My sister has to go poop.
- My brother’s not letting me read the puppy book.
- What do you think Barack Obama is doing right now?
- My nail polish came off.
- This white part on the wall is loose. Is that dangerous for us? You should fix it.
- What do you think our new cups will look like?
- Do you remember that bouncy house at our block party?
- Can we watch a movie with you?
- You need to give Dida and Baby Gum a hug and kiss goodnight.
- My arm hurts.
- My leg feels funny.
- What does serendipity mean?
- Bebe just brought up all the movies from the library because she wanted to tell me the stories with all the voices.
- Bella is waking me up (she’s downstairs nowhere near the kids)
- Did we get any mail today? (It was Sunday)
- My hair is itchy.
They are NAILING this course. Straight A+++ for these truly gifted children.
I mean, it’s a damn good thing they’re so cute.
There’s a reason a book exists called GO THE F**K TO SLEEP. But of course when they want just one more hug and kiss, this sucker will always give it to them.
TELL ME HOW YOUR KIDS HAVE MASTERED THIS TECHNIQUE.
Related:
Holding Hands: Shots of Hope to Carry Us Through
My 4-Year-Old Daughter Asked to Cut Her Hair Super Short
You are funny smart clever kind brave and cute – the words we use matter
My face did not always look like this and I blame my children
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Too Sober For This 