The best part of the Bedtime Stalling 101 Technique is that I CAN HEAR THEM PLOTTING ON THE MONITOR BEFORE THEY COME DOWN TO MY BEDROOM (where I am – within two minutes of their bedtime – fully set up in bed with snacks and Netflix roaring). So I have about 30 seconds each time to prep my serious face before they appear when I’m straight up cry laughing inside.
Here we go – and this is just from last night:
- My sister has to go poop.
- My brother’s not letting me read the puppy book.
- What do you think Barack Obama is doing right now?
- My nail polish came off.
- This white part on the wall is loose. Is that dangerous for us? You should fix it.
- What do you think our new cups will look like?
- Do you remember that bouncy house at our block party?
- Can we watch a movie with you?
- You need to give Dida and Baby Gum a hug and kiss goodnight.
- My arm hurts.
- My leg feels funny.
- What does serendipity mean?
- Bebe just brought up all the movies from the library because she wanted to tell me the stories with all the voices.
- Bella is waking me up (she’s downstairs nowhere near the kids)
- Did we get any mail today? (It was Sunday)
- My hair is itchy.
They are NAILING this course. Straight A+++ for these truly gifted children.
I mean, it’s a damn good thing they’re so cute.
There’s a reason a book exists called GO THE F**K TO SLEEP. But of course when they want just one more hug and kiss, this sucker will always give it to them.
TELL ME HOW YOUR KIDS HAVE MASTERED THIS TECHNIQUE.
Holding Hands: Shots of Hope to Carry Us Through
My 4-Year-Old Daughter Asked to Cut Her Hair Super Short
You are funny smart clever kind brave and cute – the words we use matter
My face did not always look like this and I blame my children
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