Bedtime Stalling 101

The best part of the Bedtime Stalling 101 Technique is that I CAN HEAR THEM PLOTTING ON THE MONITOR BEFORE THEY COME DOWN TO MY BEDROOM (where I am – within two minutes of their bedtime – fully set up in bed with snacks and Netflix roaring). So I have about 30 seconds each time to prep my serious face before they appear when I’m straight up cry laughing inside.

Here we go – and this is just from last night:

  • My sister has to go poop.
  • My brother’s not letting me read the puppy book.
  • What do you think Barack Obama is doing right now?
  • My nail polish came off.
  • This white part on the wall is loose. Is that dangerous for us? You should fix it.
  • What do you think our new cups will look like?
  • Do you remember that bouncy house at our block party?
  • Can we watch a movie with you?
  • You need to give Dida and Baby Gum a hug and kiss goodnight.
  • My arm hurts.
  • My leg feels funny.
  • What does serendipity mean?
  • Bebe just brought up all the movies from the library because she wanted to tell me the stories with all the voices.
  • Bella is waking me up (she’s downstairs nowhere near the kids)
  • Did we get any mail today? (It was Sunday)
  • My hair is itchy.

They are NAILING this course. Straight A+++ for these truly gifted children.

I mean, it’s a damn good thing they’re so cute.


There’s a reason a book exists called GO THE F**K TO SLEEP.  But of course when they want just one more hug and kiss, this sucker will always give it to them.



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My face did not always look like this and I blame my children


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