I am in shock. I am entirely saddened. I am angry and confused and feel like I’ve been duped.
Because, as my friend Jane wrote last night:
This feels like:
Fuck you, women don’t matter.
Fuck you, black and brown people don’t matter.
Fuck you, non-Christians don’t matter.
Fuck you, trans and gay and bi and queer people don’t matter.
I don’t know when the last time is I was so sad.
For everyone I love. For everyone I don’t know or have never met but want to have the same security and safety and well being that I enjoy, this is leading me to strengthen my resolve.
I am grieving. We can grieve for a bit but we must rise up to this challenge and believe that we – our precious children that we’ve brought into this hopeful world – are entirely worth this fight. I won’t teach them hate and I won’t condone bullying. Not even this will make that so. These kids need us to carry on our good messages. They may be little, or they may be fully grown, but they need us right now. Just as we need their hope and their optimism and their pure belief in us.
They need our honesty but they also need our guidance and our example. Our sober example. I see you out there struggling with sobriety today. I am too. But you keep it up, one step at a time, and I will too.
I love you. I will swing back around to hope but it’s going to take a while. This is devastating. And heartbreaking. And embarrassing. HOWEVER. I will keep fighting for all the things I’ve been fighting for forever and I know you will too. Together. NOT divided. Not from EFFING CANADA. From here. Our home. Where we will keep spreading love. It’s the only way I know to keep going.
I choose love and I choose hope. That doesn’t change just because I am so angry and hurt right now. We cannot let fear lead us. WE CANNOT.
I am walking along this road with you holding your hand. It’s the only way through.
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