I thought I was really good at hiding them. I mean they are everywhere. In every bathroom and toy box and behind and underneath each piece of furniture. I think they’re squirreled away in their mattresses and in a secret hiding place in the backyard.
I mean, I am ashamed of the lengths I’ve gone to in order to hide them, cut them, get them wet, burn them, drive them out into the middle of cornfield and leave them for dead.
BUT THEY JUST WON’T DIE.
Chances are if you have any little kids in your home, you have these lurking everywhere.
These things.
DA DA DA NUH! This thing!
These godforsaken things that seem to multiply and never ever really get thrown out (I MEAN RECYCLED).
THIS IS A TOILET PAPER HOLDER WITH TOILET PAPER STILL STUCK TO IT BUT THESE CHILDREN DO NOT CARE.
Because to little kids these are magic. Pure magic.
They find my every hiding space, they dig through mountains of garbage to find their treasure and I can’t even be mad.
DO YOU EVEN KNOW WHAT THIS IS?
According to these kids:
- This is a telescope
- This is a sword
- This is a camera
- This is a snarfblat
- This is a megaphone
- This is a boat
- This is a bopper
- This is a tunnel
- This is a telephone
- This is a hiding space
- This is a bug bed
- This is a trumpet
- This is a magic wand
- This is one half of a pair of glasses
- This is a finger holder onner
- This is an airplane
- This is a ramp
- This is a necklace you wear on your ear
- This is a crown
- This is a submarine
- This is a trophy
- This is a stamper
- This is a rollie racer
- This is a periscope
- This is a tire
This is everything magnificent and wonderful about 3 year olds.
And as often happens when I’m getting annoyed by something (the hundreds of these cardboard tubes around our home), I am also reminded that this moment is going to pass us by. One day these won’t be considered treasure any longer and dammit, I will actually miss them.
Maybe next time I’ll just leave one out on the counter for them to find. Although I think part of the fun for them is to figure out where mama stashed it this time and to come running out doing their victory dance.
Magic. Pure magic.
How to use the public toilet with twin toddlers in 23 easy steps!
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