I got my Fitbit for Mother’s Day last year. YES I asked for it, so don’t even go there.
Now, I do a lot of walking. Commuting to the train, downtown for work, with these kiddos for miles and miles to the parks and everywhere else we go. If it’s warm enough and within about 3 miles, WE ARE WALKING. But I got to thinking, there are a whole lot of other movements we do as moms that should be tracked on our Fitbits. Special designation moves, if you will. Worth more points.
- Squats. All damn day. Squatting to get the toys, to get that carrot from two weeks ago under the couch, to get the kid that doesn’t want to take a nap even though the more they fight it the more they need the nap but damn are they squirmy! And with the strength of 10 grown men.
- Jumping the baby gate. It ain’t pretty, but we do it seemingly hundreds of times a day. Jumping that gate with arms full and STICKING THE LANDING. Most of the time. A perfect 10! The crowd goes wild and a perfect score from the Russian judges!
- Dishes. I don’t know about you, but I log a lot of time at the sink. Is there a scrubbing motion for the damn Fitbit already? How about the reaching up to put that dish away but it’s too high up and you almost fall on your chin trying to reach up there. Nothing for that? REALLY?
- Stairs. STAIRS. Up and down and up and down and up and down and up and down. And halfway up then halfway down then up again and down again. Most likely with arms full every single time. I feel like stairs oughta have an extra special double points designation on the Fitbit, not just a regular step.
- Laundry. Piling it up. Sorting. Throwing in the wash. Throwing in the dryer. Sorting and folding. Hanging and placing neatly in drawers (for 5 seconds).
- Bathing. Dear gods, the sweating that happens when I’m bathing and drying and changing and brushing and lotioning. I need to be bathed after they are. Now that they take showers sometimes, I feel as though angels have descended upon our home and I can hear the faint sound of beautiful choirs singing and harps playing along with the spray of water for two minutes. p.s. Summer outside bath season is almost upon us. HOSE EM OFF.
- Running from the house to the car and the car to the house 6 more times because we forgot batman or paci or lambys or waters or jackets or ANYTHING THAT IS POSSIBLY LEFT IN THE HOUSE AND NOT IN THE CAR WITH US NOW FOR A 10 MINUTE TRIP. Repeat entire process when you return and have to bring everything back into the house.
- The potty squatty. Sit wif me mama. OK. Wipe my bottom please mama. OK. You getting all this fitbit? And extra special bonus points – Using the public bathroom with toddlers. LOLOLOLOL.
- Playing. I mean, come on. You didn’t think I’d forget all this, did ya? All the time on the floor and the couch and lifting them up and doing airplanes and tickling and man – my life is TERRIBLE.
- Restaurants or playspaces or generally anywhere you go with your kids because you know it’s going to be constant up and down and reaching and balancing and NO DON’T TOUCH THAT and getting everybody situated and MAN ARE MY ARMS TIRED and my own voice is even bothering me.
- The OH MY GOD WHAT ARE THEY DOING NOW sprint you do whenever they are doing something terrifying. This should get extra points. Enough said.
- “Damn it, I just stepped on a Lego” hop. Courtesy of my friend Julie. I’m not in this phase yet, but I know it’s coming and my feet hurt just thinking about it. But JUST THINK OF THE EXTRA POINTS!
Thank you for taking my suggestions seriously, Fitbit Ideas People. You’ve got another year until next Mother’s Day and a new edition would be FLYING OFF THE SHELVES.
What moves would you add to this list?
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