GO WITH THE FLOW: Potty Training Twins

We are on week two of potty training out twins and I must say, it’s going just swimmingly.

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I mean, the adults are all exhausted from constantly running with them to the bathroom and we are never giving them water or fruit again, but besides that, we are doing GREAT!

“OH MY GOD I CANNOT IMAGINE POTTY TRAINING TWINS.”  A thing I hear quite often.  This is just the newest verse.

How do you potty train twins?  The same way we do everything else with twins.  One day at a time.  One experience at a time.  Honoring them as their own kid and letting them experience each moment as only they can do.  And we watch and learn.  We cheer and make adjustments and move on.

Now, if you had asked me a couple weeks ago if I wanted to talk about this, if I wanted to even think about this actually happening, I would have said, HELL TO THE NO THEY AREN’T EVEN TWO AND A HALF YEARS OLD YET.  I wanted to wait until they were three.  THAT WAS THE PLAN.  But you know what happens when you make plans.  HAHAHA.

And then also, if you talk about it, you are surely going to get 800 people giving you advice.  I don’t want that.  Nobody wants that unless they ask for it.  I want it happen organically, naturally, as everything else has happened with these two and as we just keep going with the flow (see what I did there), it’s actually not nearly as chaotic as I thought it would be.

I never wanted to talk about the really heavily debated or talked about subjects with kids because it’s just that.  Over talked about.  Re-hashed. Blah blah blah.  How you feed, how you diaper, the sleeping, the educational playing, the tummy time, the stroller vs harness vs babywearing stuff.  But you know what, every time I do write about these things, people are incredibly kind and supportive and I’m guessing this is no different.  But I wind up writing about all this stuff, because ultimately, I write about what I am experiencing in my life.  This is my incredible life and I’m so grateful I get to experience it all and write about it.

This is only our experience, and yours is yours.  No two are the same and what’s right for us may not be right for you.  That’s why the books and the guides and all the advice in the world doesn’t really make that much of a difference.  What matters is what works for you as you listen to your gut and your kids and your village.

We’ve got Nikki in our village.  And she made me do it.  I AM KIDDING. Kind of.  She and I compliment each other and it’s lovely.  We encourage and trust and we add to our repertoires on the daily.  We both only want what is best for these kids.  We both go outside our comfort zones and help each other through it.  She is the instigator.  And I’m so glad she is.  We are so grateful for Nikki.  She is an angel.

SO.  I got 4 potties all ready to go months ago.  Nikki painted pictures and their names on them so they are really special.  One per kid, two per bathroom in the house.

They tell you to watch your kids and to look for the signs that they might be ready to potty train.  Not to force it, but to wait until they are ready – I mean within reason, before high school maybe.  A couple months ago the kids started being really uncomfortable in their diapers. Even with duct tape, they were ripping them off, wanting to be changed right away if they had gone in them.  So, we thought, let’s just bring out the potties and see how they react.  They loved them.  Thought they were really special and cool and then promptly forgot about them for a couple weeks.

We did the NO PANTS AT ALL method for three full days.  So many cute little bottoms all over the place.  I’m obsessed with their little bottoms.

They had a couple accidents and were fixated on the potties, but who wouldn’t be?  Overall they did really well.  Of course, diapers are still worn at naptime and bedtime.  The next few days, it was a combo of underpants and no pants and potties all the time.  They still had a couple accidents, but really impressive. My boy almost never missed his chance.  Which is the opposite of what most people say, they say the boys are more difficult than girls.  But what is difficult really?

Then my girl stopped going on the potty and started having accidents.  Right in front of me.  Like, HEY MAMA LOOK.  She didn’t give a flying fig.

The thing with twins is there is this competition thing.  If her brother is doing it, she wants to do it too, so every time he would go sit down, she wanted to go sit down.  It’s continuing that way and now she’s right back on the horse SO TO SAY LIKE IF THE POTTY WAS A HORSE YOU KNOW WHAT I AM SAYING?  Yeah, she’s back at it.  Like a champion.

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We are all kinds of supportive but the BEST part of all of it is them cheering for each other.  Who wouldn’t want to go when you have your own personal cheerleader each time?  We aren’t using candy or any other incentive other than positive reinforcement that seems to be working right now.  Nikki sends them encouraging videos when she’s not with us as well and they love that.  I facetime when I’m not with them and they love that too.  OUR VILLAGE IS STRONG.

We just keep talking about it and encouraging the positive behavior.  If there are accidents, we don’t dwell or make a big deal.  They know what happened.  We just talk about what to do the next time they need to go go go.

We are going with the flow.

I just had my Amazon Subscribe and Save delivery of diapers for this month come and it will likely be our last one.  This makes me sad.  This makes me realize we are being throttled into another phase of growing up and while WE ALL WANT THEM TO GROW UP HEALTHY, there is still a mourning period.  So I’m mourning a bit, but mostly I’m excited for what they are accomplishing.  For how proud they are of themselves.

I cringe every time I hear someone say, MAKE THEM STOP GROWING or THEY AREN’T BABIES ANYMORE.  Because this is what we want.  We want healthy kids.  This is the dream many parents don’t get to see and I’m so thankful for each milestone we pass through.  

This is all part of living in the moment.  Feeling all the feelings. Honoring everything that is happening right now and being fully present  Not in the past and not in the future.  Right now.  

We’ve gone on outings in the car and for walks and to other people’s homes and to restaurants and parks without diapers. And they’ve done a great job.  I keep reminding myself and my husband that the worst that happens is an accident.  And that’s not a big deal in the grand scheme of things.  An accident?   Pffffffft.  We got this.

Mostly I’m just glad we don’t have anything nice in our home that might get ruined if any bodily fluids escape.

———-

Change is hard.  For adults.  For me.

I was really freaked out to quit drinking.  Well I did that.  The rest of this is cake.  

I was really freaked out about the stopping breastfeeding thing.  Guess what?  It was not nearly as traumatic as I thought it would be as written about there – A Post Mortem on Breastfeeding Twins.

I was really freaked out about going from cribs to toddler beds.  Guess what?  NO BIG WHOOP.  Our transition went quite smoothly as told in this post here – May Bedtime Come Sweetly.

And now this.  The potty.  The big kid, underpants, let’s go to the bathroom in the restaurant but no more changing table – potty.

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I’m not really ready to give up diapering my babies yet.  I AM NOT READY.  

I wasn’t ready for any of those other things either.  I really wasn’t.  But as with so many things that involve change, I only do it when my back is against the wall.  I don’t do change very willingly.  But once I do it, I adapt quite quickly. And these kids are incredibly adaptive.  Astounding really. They amaze me every day with what they are capable of.  I’m grateful for these challenges and these opportunities.  They push us and give us a better, deeper understanding of who our kids are and how they operate.  It also helps us learn about ourselves.

Go with the flow.  As with everything so far, this is what happens.  If I listen and pay attention and don’t fight it too much, the path is right in front of me. It’s worked so far, and for the next hurdle or big jump, I need to just trust that it’s going to be ok.  It’s all going to be fine.  Go with the flow.  I’M BREEZY! I’ve also been binge watching too much Friends lately.

 

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