Seems like such a simple thing to say, to think, to pass along. And yet, it seems a lot of us don’t actually hear these words very often. Or not nearly as often as we need to.
As a parent, I tell my kids “good job!” quite often. They tell each other “good job!”. They tell us “good job!” I try to repeat the message, “good job, you kept trying and you did it!” Because failure doesn’t mean you stop trying. I fail every day, but I keep trying. It’s all good. That’s what I want my kids to learn. You don’t give up. You keep trying. And THAT is why I say, “GOOD JOB!”
This is what we teach our kids, and yet it seems as adults we don’t say it or hear it as often as we need to as evidenced by this simple status I posted last night on Facebook:
You’re doing a really good job. I know how hard you’re working to keep all this shit rolling along semi-smoothly and I see you and appreciate all you’re doing for those around you. I SEE YOU. I got you. Let’s keep going, shall we? What we do every day is important work. Remember to be kind to yourself too.
By the reaction, it was like I was handing people a stack of cash. But even more valuable.
People think we know. People assume we know. But you know what they say about assumptions, right? So why don’t we just SAY IT OUT LOUD. Tell someone.
I try to be encouraging of others as much as I possibly can. If I feel it or think it, I try to say it. For everyday normal stuff, I try to tell people they are doing a good job. But I can try harder. I can do more. And the best part is, I can say it to myself. We cannot control anyone else and make them behave the way we wish they would. SO we can say it to ourselves. And it helps.
I was feeling a bit defeated last night, one of those momentary, NOBODY APPRECIATES ALL I DO moments and needed some validation and dammit, I just said it to myself. And then I shared with all of you. And it was magical.
We all need validation. We all need appreciation. We all need to be told that what we do every day matters. Oh sure, some people will say GROW UP LIFE IS HARD AND PEOPLE AREN’T GOING TO PAT YOU ON THE HEAD AND TELL YOU HOW GOOD YOU ARE ALL THE TIME. And I get that. There’s truth to that. We need to keep going no matter what. No matter how badly it may feel sometimes. And we do. Because females (and males- I GOT YOU) are strong as hell. But I also think, if we can make life a bit sweeter, a bit easier to swallow, a bit more of a united front, why not?
We are all somebody’s kid. We all want to be told we are important and that we are doing a good job, whether we admit it or not.
I believe in karma and I believe you get back what you put out and I try to put out as much good as I can these days.
Every moment in life is not going to be awesome. It can’t be. So we have off days and we have days where we feel like what we do isn’t important, but I assure you, IT IS. We help in our own ways to keep the world turning and to pass on kindness and responsibility and just do our part as a member of greater society. It’s really easy to tell people they’re doing a good job when something big happens. It’s the days that feel like you are slogging through the muck that we need it most.
You’re doing a really good job.
Let’s say it to someone today. Find somebody who needs to hear it and say it. “You’re doing a really good job.” You might scare the crap out of them. They may look at you sideways. But I will bet they will get a kick and carry it with them. Just think how you react? It will come back to you.
And if nobody tells you today, you are doing a really good job and I see you.
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