I don’t need to debate if God is real or if there is life after death or more importantly, try to CHANGE YOUR MIND. Your mind is yours, dude. I hold no power there. Your beliefs are yours and my beliefs are mine. That’s that. It’s taken me a long time to accept that, but it feels good now that I do.
It seems like a lot of people on the internet (and therefore in real life) are angry about something. They want to complain. They want you to see THEIR POINT OF VIEW in an argument that clearly is never going to change anyone’s mind about anything, and yet it is SO IMPORTANT OMG. Sure, there are plenty of folks who can argue respectfully and submit a compelling argument, but I’m not talking about them. So much fear and anger all around us and I just want to post pictures of my cute kids and funny shit about cats.
The fear man. People love to fuel and feed the fear. Not here. Not today. There is a time and a place to fight and to feel fearful. But if it’s about EVERYTHING, then what are we left with? Fear and anger. Who wants that?
Listen. I am a fucking recovering alcoholic. I should not even be here. I spent a lot of time fighting everyone and everything. I learned that it didn’t change anyone’s mind. One angry rant of mine didn’t cause people to somehow believe something they didn’t beforehand. But you know what does? Leading by example.
And now, I’ve got these incredible kids, man. I have these kids who are miracle devil science babies and you think I’m going to complain about the mundanity of life with them? NO EFFING WAY. I love my somewhat normal life. I love it all.
I tried not to be here. And the fact that I am here means something. I will not be ugly and make fun of shit all day long. I will not attack you. I will not be ugly online but then act like I’m a nice person in real life or vice versa. I watch my words. I don’t mean swearing, because I’m all for swearing, but I mean descriptive words. They are far worse than swearing. They cut like a knife and I’ve got kids watching. Kindness matters. Compassion matters. Even when kids aren’t watching. Not because “god” is watching. But just because it is the right thing to do. I will be decent.
Ultimately, I’ve had to distance myself from what other people do or don’t do. It’s none of my business. It makes life a lot more enjoyable. I don’t give a rip what you do or don’t do. I can only handle myself and I can barely handle that.
This life is what we make it and I choose to be happy and not be angry about every little thing. IT IS EXHAUSTING. These perceived wrongs that everyone seems up in arms about, not the real stuff, but the petty bullshit that you see people complaining about, that is the kind of stuff that can get a drunk like me, well, DRUNK. So, no.
I leave the anger and fear to those better suited for it. For me, I cannot indulge. At least most of the time. When it’s important, when it’s vital, WE ROAR.
Fulfillment and happiness in everyday life doesn’t just happen. We have to work for it. We have to make choices. Part of that is choosing to be positive and not feed the fear and anger.
I GET to wake up in the morning. I GET to go to work OR I GET to stay home with them and work at the same time. I GET to ride public transportation or in a motorcar that will surely have it’s problems, but hey, is that better than having no transportation at all? REEL IT BACK IN. I GET to have a snow covered backyard. I GET to hear my kids screaming and singing and asking for more to eat and I GET to prepare them more to eat continually and I GET to do the damn dishes 10 times a day and I GET to lie on my couch on a weekend night instead of going out to watch a movie with my husband. I GET ALL THE THINGS.
Now, there are legitimate gripes. There are absolutely times when whining is appropriate. For like, a minute. But then, WTF are you going to do about it? And also, LOOK AROUND YOU. It’s not hard to spot somebody who has it much worse than you in like, 5 seconds flat. This world is terrible awful and no good a lot of the time. So when shit is good, recognize how good it is.
So no. You won’t hear me ranting and raving very often these days. You will hear me talking about my kids showing compassion toward each other and other people. You will hear about kindness and helping others. You will hear about hope and gratitude and passing it on. I guess in it’s own way, this was a rant.
I am over it. Over the negativity and the whining and the blame and the bullying mentality. I barely look at anything but Humans of New York anymore because I cannot abide the bullshit. If you need to hide me because of my occasional swearing, that is your choice. I hide people all the time. That’s part of protecting ourselves. That, and not looking compulsively and feeding the beast. I don’t have much self control, but if I’m sober, I can do my best to use what I have to eliminate the garbage. Garbage in garbage out, as they say.
I choose love and compassion. And outfits of the day. And cute kids and funny shit about cats.
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