10 Ways Toddlers are Just like Tiny Alcoholics

I’m a recovering alcoholic.  I have two toddlers.  My world is pretty much full of drunks (both active and sober) and toddlers and I find this oddly comforting as they’re my favorites.

  1. Have you ever said no to an alcoholic?  Saying no to a toddler is oddly similar.  Neither cares for the word “no” very much and they will go to any lengths to show you how much they dislike it.
  2. More.  This word and concept is a favorite of both toddlers and alcoholics.  One is too many and one hundred is not enough.
  3. “I love you so much – no I can’t stand you get away from me!” Need I say more here?
    PicMonkey Collage
  4. They will never quit trying to get what they want.  They will beg, cry, stomp, throw tantrums, and eventually try to bargain.
  5. They keep trying to get their fix until they exhaust themselves and just pass out right in their tracks.
  6. They’re dirty.  Until you physically dunk them in water, they will bask in their own filth forever.

    I love dirty little hands.
  7. They think they’re hilarious.  And let’s be honest, much of the time they are.
    photo 1
  8. They give you pretty crappy home made gifts.

    photo 1
    thanks buddy, that lint ball is beautiful.
  9. They carelessly vandalize.
     photo 2
  10. They ask for help and then don’t want your stupid help.

The most critical yet baffling part of this is that my heart goes out to both drunks and toddlers even when they are acting like total jerks.  I love them more than they could ever understand.  Because underneath all the bad behavior are usually incredibly sweet, charming, smart, funny and wonderful people who just need to get their act together.

photo 2


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