Baby Nonsense – Best of Lists

I am an expert at nothing but nonsense, but I’ve found a few things to be ridiculously helpful while in these first few months.  I’ve been keeping a note on my iPhone called “Best Baby Shit” just for you!  And while BEST BABY SHIT may mean a triumph of baby bodily functions to some, for me it just means the most helpful shit I’ve found in my wee 3 and a half months with babies.  A few are products and few are just actions that I’ve found to be sanity and time saving.

Take it or leave it as I know there are a ton of lists out there already.  I would not offer advice unless I am specifically asked, but here you go.

Side note for twins – we got ONE of each thing, except for you know, CAR SEATS and shit, that they kinda sorta have to have their own thing.  If you really want another one after using just one for a while, go ahead and get another, but chances are the rotation will work just fine with two babies.  As twins are my only kids, I don’t know from single babies, but I’ll try to keep it for all babies.

Another side note – The links are just for the pictures and info, you search for the best price and however you can find it — you beg borrow steal to get it!

  1. Fisher Price My Little Lamb Cradle n’ Swing – CHRIST ON A BICYCLE IS THIS THING A LIFE SAVER.  Any iteration of the cradle swing is amazing for crying babies when you just cannot rock yourself for one more cotton picking second.
  2. PEE FIRST.  Before you settle in to feed, PEE FIRST.  Before you rock or soothe or play, PEE FIRST.  Before you pump for the 80 gazillionth time, PEE FIRST.  BECAUSE YOU HAVE BEEN HYDRATING LIKE A MO-FO nonstop with the lemon water, you need to pee.  A LOT.  ABH – ALWAYS BE HYDRATING.   The babies can cry for 30 seconds more and they will be fine.  But trust me, once you settle in, your need to pee will only get greater with every passing second and you don’t want to interrupt what you are doing to put babies down and go pee.  Even if you don’t REALLY have to pee at the second before picking up baby and it’s just a minor desire, PEE FIRST because it will all of a sudden become the worst you’ve ever had to pee in your life and you will regret and shame yourself for not PEEING FIRST.   I’ve done the suffering to afford you this life saving tip.  This  is one of my new mottos – PEE FIRST.
  3. I talked about these little yarmulkes the other day on the facebook page, these Lily Padz are perhaps the greatest bewbie invention I’ve found.  I stumbled on them at Target on sale for $5 or something ridiculous like that, and they are washable and reusable for the whole time you’re using your bewbies as a life sustaining device, so investing in a pair or two is well worth it.
  4. Make up bottles immediately after using one up.  Don’t wait until you need it.  It’s too late and screaming Hall & Oates don’t play when they’re hungry.  THEY NEED IT NOW.
  5. Same with the diaper bag.  Replenish everything in that sucker right when you get home if you can, that way you aren’t rushing around trying to remember everything the next time you are running out the door.
  6. PEE FIRST.
  7. Have everything you could possibly need within arms reach.  Create a side table by the couch you use most for feeding and pumping and cuddling and have a little station with water, wipes, cloths, Lansinoh Lanolin (BONUS TIP), crack/cocaine, phone, snacks, extra bottles, REMOTE CONTROLS, whateverthehell you need to be there for a while without getting up. Did I mention, PEE FIRST?
  8. Boppys and Bumbos and Babies (not provided) oh my!  We have 2 Boppys and I keep one in the nursery for nightime feedings and one in the living room for free for all feedings.  Also, we use them for tummy time and they work so well.  And Bumbos well, they are the little chairs that can help with bottle feeding two babies and also help strengthen neck muscles and let the babes sit anywhere like a real little person watching everything.  And they are like little tiny space ship bumper cars you can zoom them around in and create your own little science fiction baby ruling the universe home made fantasies.  You’re welcome.
  9. PEE FIRST.
  10. Baby Trend Snap n’ Go Double Stroller – So, ok, this one is clearly for two babies, but dammitall if it isn’t the greatest thing ever.  I’m so grateful we have all these inventions that work with car seats snapping in and out.  I mean, I can whip this thing out of the trunk and open and close it practically one handed now.  It is that easy to use.  And to throw two babies on here and go is kind of amazing.  I know they have these for single babies too, equally amazingly helpful.
  11. WubbaNub Pacifiers – Hall & Oates don’t really like pacifiers.  We’ve tried them all, but in the long run it’s good, right?  However, these little pacifiers with the little animals attached are great. We don’t lose them and they can hold onto the animals and therefore maybe keep them in their mouths longer.  My little mama got us these, and they are expensive for pacifiers, but think how long they’ll last!
  12. Keep a bowl next to the sink that you can fill with soapy water and put bottles nonsense and pump nonsense in to soak if you can’t wash immediately.  Then you get to it when you can and it’s already marinated for a while and it’s not taking up your whole sink.
  13. Jumperoo! – I know, I know, DANGER DANGER!  But geez, you gotta watch your babies, yo.  You can’t just put them in this shit and walk away.  But let me tell you, when I’m in our glass door shower with eyes on my little guy just drooling at mommy’s boobies from the doorway in this thing?  I get a good 10 minute shower in no problemo.
  14. Hey, um, PEE FIRST.
  15. Halo Sleepsacks –  These things have become a lifesaver for us.  I’ve talked before about our babies being pretty great sleepers at night and these things are really helpful with that.  It’s like swaddling and a blanket all in a safe baby burrito deliciously cute package.
  16. Cracking wise and lots of laughter with your partner or support system.  Compliments and random, “hey you’re doing a great job” sprinkled in make all the difference in day to day baby care life.  Don’t be like me and nit pick.  I have to bite my tongue when Dear Sweet Dumpster Husband does something that is just a teeny tiny bit different from how I would do it.  SO WHAT?  He’s jumping in and doing the deal and I am grateful and need to SHUT THE HELL UP.
  17. PEE FIRST.

That’s all for now.  I will be back with more.  And, doing what works for you and your babies is all that matters  SAFETY and keeping an eye on little babies is critical in any of this stuff.  I am no expert and really very few people are, so you can say, “SHUT UP EVERYBODY, I AM DOING THE BEST I CAN HERE” and you know what?  You are right.  I say that daily to people in my mind and when I read stuff on the internets telling me how I should be doing things.  That is why I don’t read very much about babies as it is CRAZY out there.  That is why you won’t hear me criticizing or telling you what to do or not do.  I appreciate the same in return from you.  Every parent has their  own best of lists and can blog about them too!  These are merely tips and as a reader of this blog, you can take them or leave them.  I am but your humble servant in reporting baby nonsense from time to time.  And, reminding you as I remind myself, “it will all be fine.”  We do the best we can for ourselves and for these babies and we are all doing JUST FINE thank you very much.

The MOST IMPORTANT thing our babies need is us.  Present and aware and loving.  The rest is superfluous.  Kind of.  Except for a car seat.   Probably.  Right?

Oh, and, PEE FIRST.

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