As I stared in the ladies room bathroom mirror, I pulled out three far too long eyebrow hairs and deposited them into the garbage. I glanced at my cleavage and reveled in how I still got it going on in the décolletage area. Then I re-applied my red lipstick. Some might say I look like …
Mommy Jammies Will Always Fit
The other day as I was dressing them in their matching penguin footed pajamas, my boy said, "DESE ARE TOO SMALL MAMA. WE NEED BIGGER ONES." As I laughed and said, "Oh you are going to be wearing these until your feet bust through", I thought, it won't be all that long before they aren't …
I Almost Punched a Little Girl at the Library
BUT I DIDN'T. Don't call the authorities on me. I am a lover, not a fighter. I mean thank gods for that impulse control we can harness, amiright? OH THIS GIRL. Here's the scene. The girl (3 or maybe 4 years old) is at the train table, you know train tracks and about 20 different …
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Too Sober For This 